dig deep

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or othat." James 4:13-15

baaaah

when things get tough, i always seem to bail.

i ride my emotions through their crazy rollercoaster unquestioningly and don't think things through.

i want to change

i think lately i've been kind of blehh because i've been thinking and investing too much of myself into the future... but i have to take care of today, first. today i want to be a good sister, daughter, bible study teacher, Christ-follower, a good student...

i want to be so abandoned to God's will that it would be apparent even down to the way i think and speak... dependent on His direction, sure of His provision, unwavering faith in My God.

ALAS..... i sit here in a funk because i have been acting independent of Him... have not trusted in His provision... faith fluttering in the wind... Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!

***

my shins are killing me cuz i was walking around using all the wrong leg muscles yesterday; i was trying to alleviate pressure from the balls of my feet because my stupid shoes are ROCK HARD inside (they're Steve Maddens, masquerading as Birkenstocks) and after fast-walking from southcott to angelo's yesterday morning to meet julie for breakfast...... enough said. i have huge blisters on the bottoms of my feet and they do not feel nice.

the eczema patches on my arms and neck have really really gotten better... i'm so thankful, i want to be able to wear short sleeves and tank tops when if it gets warmer. even the skin on my legs are improving and i've vowed that if my skin clears up noticeably i am going to don SHORTS THIS SUMMER!!!! (i haven't voluntarily worn shorts in public in i think.... wow... over 5 years. i didnt even wear shorts in korea when it was summer!)

so this is a pretty big thing for me, to have my skin improving.

okay okay. time to bowflex and then shower and studyyy!