summertime summertime sum-sum-summertime

yowza

so.. i was studying for my geography final (tomorrow, 2pm) a few days ago, then, feeling pretty confident that i had covered enough of the material to finish the remainder by tonight, i focused on my medical biophysics course.  

as i was studying this afternoon (for medbio), i halfheartedly flipped through my iPhone, checking out what was coming up on my calendar. imagine my horror when i realized that i had studied (dilligently) for the WRONG GEOGRAPHY CLASS!

i'm taking two geographies this semester and i love them both: latin america and caribbean, and subsaharan africa. Africa is tomorrow and i am currently in the midst of an all-nighter studying for it, lest i do it injustice on the final... woe is me. lol

i guess this just goes to show... that...... ...... ... i'll never learn? hahaha

anyways, just thought i'd let u guys share in my stupidity.

can't wait to finish exams and play play play. 

telephone interview for korea on tuesday @ 12pm! (seoyoung, i'm sorry...... i'm planning on going for a year- i'll fill you in on the details when i sleep over at your house hehe)

-->SUS! i'm gonna come join youuuu! 

back to subsaharan africa! gah!

on a totally unrelated note, some lady brought her 7 WEEK OLD (maltese?) PUPPYYYYY to Taylor library and it was SLEEPING on the floor and... i asked to snap a picture of the little darling. (hehehehehe i'm feeling all mushy again over it)

i could've stolen her away she was so adorable. awwww

a couple quick random thoughts

My mood today is kind of a muted yellow. It's not a sunshiney bright yellow, but its like the memory of joyfulness with a dull and lacklustre finish. There is definite potential for polishing and brightening to occur there, though... 

I just randomly found it too sad that Jang JaYun's suicide during the filming of Boys Over Flowers had no effect on the rest of the drama. I realize that her fans and friends in Korea must have been shocked and mourning happened, but on this side of the world... we just continued to watch BOF, and her death didn't even affect the plot..

This frustrates me for some reason I can't quite understand. I think it has something to do with how death is so PREVALENT but we're so quick to sweep it under the rug... and also something to do with how quickly the little flame our lives can be "put out." It's scary but makes me feel even more urgent to DO things with the right motives... For the Kingdom!!! Money "success" popularity fame power is so useless as personal gain in life when you can't take any of it when you go... 

And...

Oh, right. I've found roundtrip airfare to Korea mid-June to the end of August for $848USD... I'm soooooo tempted to just get on a plane and go, and just do private tutoring there... one of the (wonderful lovely awesome) froshies know the Dean of Medicine at Yonsei University so she said she could get me a volunteer position there at the hospital, too....

I feel like I have TOO MANY options to make a decision about what to do about my immediate plans for the future since TPR didn't work out... Boo.

Kk! I have to go get ready for April's birthday pah-ty tonight...

it's a slow fade

Oh my heart! 

I had such a love-ly week last week... I felt like I really was basking in the glow of God's love.

But all of a sudden... I was plunged into the dark again. 

Really REALLY : be careful if you think you stand... cause you just might be sinking.

The song "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns used to make me very uncomfortable when I heard it while driving. Now I recognize it as a warning. 

I'm not sure if anyone will end up reading all of this... I sometimes feel really pressed for time and am unable to read everything others write, but I just need to get this OUT.

I am DYING for girlfriend-hood. Sisterdom. Edifying relationship. What is wrong with me that I can't establish it with girls around me? My heart is crying out for someone to help carry my burden, share my secrets, ease my pain. 

But there is no one here.

I know that little by little God is opening doors to new relationship in my life, which I'm really really excited about, but I wish I could the reconcile the poor, broken, hurting relationships that are lying right in front of me.

And I wish I knew how to use my perception PRODUCTIVELY! Instead, I sit and stew in my own frustration and pain at other peoples' pain and brokenness. It's so hard to care. It's so painful to care...

I speak of committing my life to Jesus, but do I know what that looks like? Where are the fruitful relationships, where are the fruits of my spirit? Where is the fruit!!!

I so badly want to bear a harvest of pretty fruit. Whole, sparkling, beautiful fruit that others want to share in. 

But my fruit is tinged around the edges, there are pock marks and bruises on them. 

Where is the COMMUNITY? Where is the fellowship? Where is the LOVE? 

I'm so tired.

Give me the light. Give me the peace. Give me the Rock!

Lord, increase my faith.

10 Things!

i accidentally hit the stop recording button at the end, there... lol

ah well, i was finished anyways. 

Love is in the air!

i am sooooo in love with You !

......

I just tried to think of words to express what I'm experiencing right now, the sweetness of this time in my life and faith journey... but I can't. There are no words.

So I'll update again later.

hehehehehehehehe *thank You God*

P.S. READ 'THE SHACK' by William Paul Young!

Spring hath Sprung!

I'm sorry, you must turn the volume waaaaaaaay way up.

I'll shout next time, I promise.