Saturday, March 22, 2008

moo-ji-gae dduk

my heart is so light today.

i'm tired, but i intend to stay up at least a couple more hours in an attempt to start drawing up an outline for my essay that's due on friday. oh boy.

i was dropped off at north york centre at 7:30(!!!!!!!!!!!!!) in the morning. i sat at wendy's for awhile with an orange juice and read, then bought some 떡 from the 가나안 떡집 down the street and hung out. i finished reading a really dark and scary book while waiting for the bus at Finch station (it was freezing!!!). the book is titled Song of Kali and is written by Dan Simmons. I won't go into much etail but it just had my hair standing on end and i gasped aloud several times throughout the 300 or so pages. the images it has stained on my mind totally creep me out and i actually felt afraid this morning in the public bathroom alone.

okayyy, so other than reading that book, my heart is so light today!

this whole rediscovering and rebuilding my relationship with God was overwhelming me this past month... i felt so lost and unequipped and didn't know what to do, but last night at the Good Friday service at our church, we watched clips from the Passion of the Christ and i remembered, for the first time in i think months, why i desire to know Him, be with Him...

So. my Question these days:

Who is my God?

1. He is my Saviour. my awesome awesome Saviour.

-on a totally random tangent, the ah-jum-ma at the dduk store told me i was pretty this morning. i secretly store those occasional compliments in my heart because to me they're like reminders from God that i am beautiful to Him... i feel so ugly sometimes... so although i blush and just nod and smile like an idiot when i hear things like that, they really do touch me deeply. one of the little highlights of my day.

-another was how beautiful the day was! the sun was shining! but it was still really cold... spring had better be here soon...

-family came over and was waiting for me when i got home from my toronto trip... there was abundant food and desserts and family members in our home... it was nice. i totally partook in the easter dinner... i'm really being lax about detox this time around, and its been pretty good...

i feel good. =)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

happy birthday to me

I'm twenty-two aujourd'hui.

Twenty-two. Can you believe it... Nope.

I'm slightly cheating on my Detox right now, by eating just the apples out of a luscious apple pie my mom bought and has been seducing me from family's fridge here at homehome... Now the empty crust is staring back at me pretty depress-edly...
I should just eat it too.... HAHAHA but I cannot cuz it is chock-full of wheat flour..........

I must say I'm pretty sad that I can't eat birthday cake this year. Or, a birthday CUPCAKE rather, is tickling my fancy just now. I spent a good 5-6 minutes this morning drooling over pictures of gourmet cupcakes online this morning. I'll just have to pile on the cupcakes after this month is over. Sigh.

My mom has been cooking for the past several hours since I've been home (and earlier today, to my knowledge) to make me a Detox-friendly birthday meal. I'm getting hungry....

Felt pretty self-pitying last night as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep... I felt alone, and fell asleep listening to Starfield after Jae-min and Ing called to say happy birthday.

Friday, March 14, 2008

I need this old train to break down

I've been watching Food Network practically non-stop since I started Detox, and I can't decide if that's sick of me, like am I torturing myself? hahaha

I think it's time for a quick update on how my diet's been going!

1. Not eating meat really isn't a big deal for me, and I might actually just go veg again soon...
2. I MISS CARBS. Not being able to eat breads and anything chewy and sweet and delicious is just KILLING me. I've been substituting Korean rice cakes (떡) and puffed rice discs (뻥튀기) for "bread" but it just doesn't cut it, and the Korean food store doesn't have a constant supply of rice cake...... =( =( =( =(
3. I've gotten a lot more creative with my cooking... I find that I have to, because I get really bored and unhappy with my food. lol Some new foods I've made to date include Vietnamese rice paper rolls with shrimp, curried lentils, and spicy tofu soup (which I sort of cheated on, since it came in a package).
4. I can see my belly shrinking!
5. I'm not sure of my energy levels because I've been sick all week and therefore have just been exhausted in general.

Speaking of sick, DANG I haven't been this sick in a while. It started out pretty innocently, I just had a cough and a bit of a headache, but over the week totally exploded. *cough cough*.
I went home this week too, and our new cat did a number on my sinuses (I'm super allergic)... so the skin under my nose is just beautifully crusted and dry from all the damage my non-moisturized tissues have done (and TOILET PAPER when I was in class and had no tissues on hand!!!) and my entire face is so dry... even my eyeballs.

I woke up this morning and had no eyelids. I cannot go out on days like this...
I feel like life is passing me by.... I'm 22 tomorrow. Wow.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

sweet sweet powder

Wow, so I can't access your blogs, Lisa and Ji unnee, so I will give you a shout-out here. LOL
Lisa: Yes, I HELPED with the killing... I didn't do any cutting or anything though cuz you need to take a special course in animal care before you're allowed to do that legally. I mostly organized stuff so the blood and tumours and lungs of the 19 mice could be collected in a relatively orderly manner. lol
Ji unnee: YOU HAVE A BLOGGGG i love it how people are just starting to creep out of the woodwork lately. Hello!!! lol Why can't I see your blog? :P
Okay. So another week commences... S I G H. I feel funny tonight. So, since I need to get in some God-time before I sleep, I shall keep this brief and just quickly load some pictures from last night. HEHEHE.

And then, Joanne. Shenanigans @ Bubble King.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

day 4

Soooooo.... I FINALLY GOT MY CELL PHONE BILL TO BE CLOSE TO THE AMOUNT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING!!! I was SO excited. I still am. Here, I took a picture because I was so excited:

K, well you kinda have to strain your eyes to see (I dunno why it turned out so small) but that's $43.95!!!!!! Compared to $203.07 that's PRRRRRETTY awesome. Finally I don't feel poor after paying my cell phone bill.

So.... Joanne... lol.. my detox diet right now consists of cutting out all meat/dairy/eggs, wheat flour (bread, crackers, cake, etcccccccc), and reducing my salt and sugar intake. So the past 4 days now I've been subsisting on..... not much at all actually. No matter how much food I pack for school I'm never not hungry. LOL I think right now it's messing with my energy levels too, but later on energy should improve. =)

To make eating more exciting I'm trying to put more effort into what I eat. haha I feel like all I've been doing this week is cooking food. This time around, I want to make detox more fun... Like this! hehe:

This took me WAY too long to make hahaha

I'm going to get me some lentils and maybe quinoa on the weekend... I really need to add more calories and bulk to my meals :(

Sooo other than that, I'm helping the Lala Lab kill mice tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'm going to react to it, I've never killed more than a trout for experiments... the mice are pretty cute.... but stinky..... we'll see tomorrow, I guess.

I'm over at 83 Southcott for a slumber party with Inggy tonight! I like little perks like this, getting out of the house, seeing friends, being shot at by Will's stupid foam dart gun thing... -_-;; We came home after watching Thelma and Louise in her Film class.... an interesting movie, not at all what I was expecting... I wasn't expecing it to be so dramatic? I think Susan Sarandon is super cool though.

It's pretty cool how I'm like.. relearning how to interact with people again. I'm being reminded of why people are good and not .... bad.... and stuff. I know some good peeps. =) and I'm very thankful that they are in my life.
May I ask why there are no cute emoticons, and why we can't "subscribe" to other blogs?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

helloooo, detox

i'm hungry all the time!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

crest whitestrips

I'm so excited to have dazzling white (but still not straight... T.T) teeth!
I'm taking pictures, like the nerd I am, so I can monitor the whitening process! Perhaps I'll post them later.

Okayyyy... have successfully eaten everything that I could possibly ever want this week... Passion Flakie, a fully loaded BBQ chicken pizza... WITH cheesy bread.. pasta, Haagen Daz coffee ice cream, beer, cake, cookies and sushi buffet! Totally loaded up before detoxing... which was probably counter-productive... hahaha I'm smart.....

I think I've gained like 10 pounds this week... despite what Will said tonight about me looking skinnier (it was probably the long sweater I had on... elongates the bod... YES!) but thank goodness there's no scale in the house! And thank goodness for sweaters. haha

Okaaaaay so those quizzes... need studying for. But I'm definitely lapsing into food coma. =_=

P.S. This is probably not going to come out right, but I love having a job and that it means when I spend money its not just GONE. hahahaha Oh my, even I know that sounds really stupid... but its true. I'm very glad and thankful I have a job right now, even though I'm spending more than I probably should. lol
Yesterday I felt really SCARED for the first time in ... a reallllly long time. I can't remember feeling afraid like that. And I had a very unrestful ride home on the Greyhound... and then caught a cab home but didn't have cash so I had to stop by a bank when I just wanted to get HOME cuz my feet KILLLLLLLED... got home and stayed up for much longer than I planned to, and slept in for church again. Aigoooo I must get my butt to church!

I did get some bible reading in today though... which was really good... and journalling these days is really really AWESOME. I forgot how therapeutic journalling is. *heart*

Okay! Hitting the books...NOW! .....................after I upload some pictures! >.<